Toddler and Newborn Survival Guide

I am not going to act like I am some parenting wizard with this post.

The past few weeks have been a lot of trial and error. A lot of growth with both me and the boys. A lot of patience. But I wanted to share how things have been going and give any tips to anyone else navigating the toddler and newborn phase. Again, I am not claiming to be some expert who has it all together; but I am certain some of the things I've learned along this journey will be helpful to someone else!

No day is the same.

I have not been adhering to a schedule during maternity leave. But I do find a routine valuable, especially for giving Braylon (our toddler) structure. I realized early on that if I keep Braylon occupied and entertained, then the days go much smoother. At first, I focused on the baby and putting the baby's needs first. However, I learned quickly that a toddler tantrum will only escalate with each passing second. Jordy (our baby) will usually be quickly consoled by feeding or rocking. But Braylon is a little more complex. So if both kids are crying at once (and are not in eminent danger), I typically tend to Braylon's needs first to settle him down, then take care of the baby's needs. This was something I was not expecting to be the case, but for the personalities of each of my kids, this has seemed to "work" most of the time.

This is not a hard and fast and set in stone schedule, but if I had to give you a breakdown of general the timeline of our day to day, it would go something like this:

Tired reading that?

Me too. This is genuinely what a day looks like in our house with a newborn and a 2 year old. Notice I didn't add in outfit changes for the baby (spit up, blow outs), the toddler (potty accidents, messy eater), or me (covered in any of the above fluids). A lot of days I don't feel like I get anything done, but there's not a lot of free time as you can see. I will say that my husband is a huge help when he gets home from work. He has taken on a lot of the cooking and entertaining our toddler in the evenings. And Braylon has been the MVP of big brothers, he has been so involved. loving, and sweet with the baby. We all make a good team :)

How to have a successful day:

There are definitely ways to make sure our day is set up for success. I have learned that a lot of motherhood means being prepared and staying one step ahead. It has been VERY helpful to keep my toddler entertained with new ideas/projects/toys/games/experiences to avoid him having a tantrum from being bored. He definitely gets more irritable when he's not stimulated and when I'm not engaged. Baby wearing has been necessary for me to be able to keep up with a toddler for sure! Anyways, some things that have been helpful have been:

• Prioritize outdoor time EVERYDAY. The sunlight helps in more ways than one. Having a spring time maternity leave is definitely a perk. His favorite outdoor activities:
• Going to the playground
• Riding his bicycle and scooter
• Water table
• Bubbles--allllll the bubbles
• Planting flowers/playing in mulch and dirt
• Digging and looking for bugs
• Playing tag
• Playing with soccer ball and football
• Chalk
• Painting
• Indoor activities:
• Couch cushions on floor--endless possibilities with this (building forts, making ramps and slides, balancing, jumping, wrestling, etc).
• Baking--a messy activity but one that is always a hit!
• Playing with race cars
• Playing super heroes
• Kinetic sand
• Coloring
• Reading
• Painting (as I got more brave we moved this activity from outside to inside)
• Watching TV/Movies (A huge thank you to the makers of Sesame Street, Cocomelon, Daniel Tiger, Bubble Guppies, The Lorax, Secret Life of Pets, Rio, and Zootopia for giving us a solid line up LOL)

The baby is much "simpler," if you can even say that? Maybe "predictable" is a better word? We have followed the EASY method which translates to: feed, change diaper, play, then nap and repeat. Naps are typically 1.5 hours or so but can range anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours. His wake windows are 60-90 minutes at this point in time, so not a lot of things to do with him before he's ready for another nap after he eats. Some products that have been super helpful for the baby have been:

• Pack and play with built in changing table
• Swaddles
• Carrier
• Activity Gym
• Shusher
• Bath tub
• Night light

Confession:

I will say I am definitely one of those moms who has a countdown to nap time LOL. I mean I suppose a optimistic spin on this would be called "time blocking," but it's the truth. I try to think of the day broken down in to 3 sections: morning, nap time, and evening. Basically my toddler's nap time is a guaranteed "break" where I just have to tend to the baby for a couple hours. There have been a handful of days where the toddler and baby have taken naps in sync in the afternoon AND BOTH in their cribs and let me tell you, that was GLORIOUS. And there have been days where no one naps at all and I'm like is it 8pm yet?!

Yes, the newborn plus toddler stage is challenging, and demanding, and tiring. But I know every phase will have its own challenges for different reasons. I will probably look back at this time someday and think how good I used to have it LOL. So I am soaking it all in. Most days I can keep my sanity. There have been a handful of days where I have been tested to the limit with the baby fussing and toddler melting down. But the good has definitely outweighed the bad; there have been a lot more smiles than tears for all involved :) I prepared myself mentally for this to be the most difficult time and it hasn't been as dramatic as I imagined it to be. I've really been enjoying myself and this time with the boys. But I also have the self awareness to recognize that I am definitely a working mom type. Maternity leave is coming to an end soon and, knock on wood, no one came out too traumatized by the experience LOL. I know I will look back on this time fondly and cherish the time I've had with both of my boys at home :) :) :)

I hope you find this helpful or entertaining at least! Go hug a stay at home mom or new mama--they don't get enough credit!!

-Kristen