This post may be a little personal. It might be boring to some. But it's something I've been thinking more about...
I am a YES person. Ask me to do anything, my answer will 9 times out of 10 be a resounding YES. Someone needs help at work, I can do that. Friends want to get together, I'll be there. People want photographs, I'm your girl.
However, I have been realizing that I have to be able to say NO. And I'm not talking about disciplining kids--I say no to a toddler plenty. I'm talking about in my personal/professional life. I'll be honest, it was a little bit of a rude awakening for me because I am wired to say YES. It came up because one of my friends asked me to do a quick portrait session when I was 3 weeks post partum. I was feeling good. The boys were doing great. And it was going to be nearby our house and quick. Well the night before, Jordy didn't sleep a wink, it was one of those up-all-night-constant-nursing-and-rocking-cycle-of-newborn-delirium type nights. I texted her in the wee hours of then morning and apologized for canceling, but I underestimated just how crazy and unpredictable life with a newborn can be. She of course understood.
Fast forward another couple of weeks and 3 more clients reached out to schedule portrait sessions. I thought it over. I so badly wanted to say YES to each client. The sessions themselves wouldn't take more than an hour. But considering that some days it's hard to get anything "done" other than tend to the kids and myself, when on earth would I be able to find time to edit the photos and deliver the galleries?! I decided to hold a boundary, I politely declined and let them know I was on maternity leave and would be happy to schedule them for something in the summer. And you know what, it was OKAY. People of course understood. Did I lose out on some clients, yes. And that stinks. But life goes on.
I went back to work as my full time job as a Physician Assistant at 2 months post partum. I gave myself some time to adjust to that. Then I opened my photography business back up to clients again at 3 months post partum. And it has been the best move for myself. I want so badly to be able to say YES all of the time. But I'm realizing part of "doing it all" is not the same as "balancing it all." Saying YES all the time makes me feel frantic. Saying YES with a boundary feels more practical for long term sustainability. For example, let's say a client wants to schedule something on a weekend, the old me would've responded, "YES, I am free any Saturday this month." The new mindset has shifted to, "YES, I'd love to take portraits for you, but the weekends are reserved for my family. I do have availability in the evenings during the week, is there a day of the week that works better for you than others?" And boom, just like that, I have solved an issue of not being pulled in too many directions at the same time. And I'm not missing out on fun weekend activities with my friends and family. I'm keeping my side hustle alive in the midst of being a full time working mom with a toddler and a baby. And I'm staying sane. Can I get a heck yes?!
I've worked really hard to get my photography education AND develop my website and blog. Something the 2015 Kristen never would've envisioned upon receiving her first DSLR camera! Seriously, like WHAT?! But here we are, 6 years later. I am probably busier than ever with 2 kids to look after, a full time job, and a fulfilling side hustle, but I am figuring out how to keep all things going and *dare I say* thriving. It's so easy to get "lost in the hustle," but at the end of the day if the thing that is supposed to be giving you an creative outlet is giving you more of a chore list, then that's a problem. I don't want to get to that point, so I am hoping that by creating these boundaries that it will allow me continued growth and fun along the way. We will see how the fall "busy" season of photography goes!
If you've stuck around long enough to get to this point, thanks for reading!
-Kristen
